Most people who contact me have already tried to figure it out on their own.

They've read the books, had the conversations, gone round in circles. They know something needs to change. They're just not making progress alone.

That’s usually when they find me.

Some give up trying to explain it and just say ‘it’s complicated.’ Others send me three pages of text and then apologise for the length.

That’s fine. All of it is fine.

That’s what our first conversation is for.

Questions midlifers struggle with

Something in my life doesn't work anymore. I just don't know how to fix it.

Often it’s one thing that starts pulling everything else down with it.

We work out what’s driving it and start working from there.

It's my job. I just don't know what to do next.

The options aren’t the problem. Knowing which one is right for you is. And making it happen.

Something big happened. And I haven't really known where I stand since.

A job loss. A divorce. The kids leaving home. A health wake-up call. Some things arrive without warning and change everything.

You don’t need to have all the answers ready before we talk. We work through it together.

I wonder what has happened to the person I used to be.

The roles, the responsibilities, the expectations, … At some point they can crowd out the person underneath all of it.

Let’s find out who that is now, what drives them and what they value.

Change doesn’t happen by thinking about it. It happens by working through it.

How I work as a midlife coach

No endless chats about finding happiness. Just practical coaching, curiosity and the occasional friendly nudge in the right direction.

I’m your coach and your sparring partner. I think along with you, but I also ask the difficult questions. The kind most people haven’t been asked before. With me, you won’t just talk. You’ll work on yourself.

I listen carefully. Not just to what you say. I’m looking for patterns – the things you say twice without realising it. That’s usually where the real issue is.

We agree on a clear goal and work toward it. There’s no fixed process or approach. We work with whatever you bring.

You’ll leave each session with something concrete to do before the next one. I strongly believe insight only counts if you do something with it.

The sessions are where we think and work, but the real change happens in between our sessions.

We meet online or in person at my practice in Leuven, Belgium.

Midlife coaching

If you want personal attention, someone to keep you focused and take practical steps with you, midlife coaching is for you.

A Spark Session is short: one focused conversation around a specific question or decision.

1-on-1 coaching is for the bigger questions that require a bit more time to answer. We go step by step until you’ve got clarity and a real plan.

Online or in person at my practice in Leuven, Belgium.

Workshops

For people who’d rather work through their midlife questions than just hear about them.

No sitting and listening. You’ll try things, test things, and walk away with something you can immediately use.

I run workshops and masterclasses on midlife, work, professional identity, ikigai and values.

The easiest way to hear about upcoming sessions is to follow me on LinkedIn.

Online courses

For the independent thinker who prefers to go at their own pace and work in their own time.

My programmes at Midlife Crossroads Academy cover purpose, career change and the bigger midlife questions.

Short modules to make you think and move forward.

Hi, I'm Tamara!

I spent almost 25 years in international brand strategy and research. I’ve built businesses, led teams and worked across multiple countries.

At 44, I hit my own version of what many of my clients describe. I didn’t know what I wanted. I just knew it wasn’t what I had.

So I changed direction and retrained. First in change management, then in coaching.

In the process, I learned that different people respond differently to stress in life. It turned out my stress response is to collect diplomas.

I’ve been there. The not knowing. The sense that something needs to change but you can’t quite put your finger on what. The pressure of responsibilities that don’t stop just because you’re questioning your life or your job.

That’s exactly what I help people work through now.

I work with people in their 40s and 50s in English and Dutch. In person in Leuven and online across Belgium, Europe and beyond.

What is it like to work with me?

I’m direct, engaged and practical. I don’t beat around the bush. Sometimes that means a dose of tough love. I call it ‘doing what works’ and giving you exactly what helps you move forward.

This is what my clients say about me:

Before you do something you can't undo - read this first

Most people I work with aren’t stuck because they lack options.

They’re stuck because they haven’t looked at the situation clearly yet.

Nine times out of ten, midlifers have work on their mind. Changing jobs. Quitting and moving to Bali. Retraining. Starting a business.

Sometimes that’s exactly the right call.

But often people make those decisions before they’ve understood what’s actually wrong with their work situation and end up in the same place two years later, just with a different job title.

These 15 questions won’t tell you what to do. But they’ll make sure you’re solving the right problem before you blow up the wrong thing.

Frequently asked questions about midlife coaching

What is midlife?

Midlife isn’t really an age. It’s a question: “Is this really the life I want to keep living?”

For some people that question shows up at 35. For others, not until 60. It tends to come with doubts about direction, fulfilment, and how to handle change at work, in relationships or in how you see yourself.

Most experts now say midlife can run from your mid-thirties well into your seventies. It lasts for as long as you keep asking the question.

What is a midlife crisis?

Midlife itself is just a phase full of questions about your choices, your direction, what actually matters to you now, etc. Some unrest or doubt is completely normal. Almost everyone goes through it.

A midlife crisis happens when those signals get ignored for too long. The doubt builds and nothing feels like it works anymore, which can lead to sudden, impulsive decisions.

What is midlife coaching?

Midlife coaching helps people in their 40s and 50s figure out what they want the next chapter of their work and life to look like.

Many people reach a point where the roles and goals that used to make sense don’t quite fit anymore.

Coaching gives you the space and structure to work out what’s actually changed in your identity, career choice, priorities and direction, and turn that into concrete next steps.

What's the difference between coaching and therapy?

Coaching looks forward: what do you want, and how do you get there. The focus is on change, personal growth, being aware of your thoughts and action, and moving forward.

Therapy often looks back, processing past events or dealing with psychological issues.

Both involve being listened to closely and asked hard questions. But if what you need is to understand or heal something from your past, therapy is the better fit. If you’re dealing with the present and trying to figure out what’s next, that’s where I come in.

How long does a coaching journey typically last?

Some people come for a single Spark Session to work through one specific question.

Others choose a longer trajectory -typically 6 to 8 sessions- to work through bigger themes like direction, identity or a career transition.

It depends on what you’re dealing with, and the pace that works for you. We start by getting clear on where you are and what you want to change, then build from there.

Is coaching expensive?

Coaching is an investment, not a cost.

But I understand that’s an easy thing to say, especially when ‘coaching’ is such an abstract idea and you’re trying to weigh it against actual bills.

Here’s what I’d say: knowing what you want and how to get there reduces stress. That’s a real ‘return on investment’ -to use a business term-, even if it’s hard to put a number on it.

That said, I won’t pretend it’s the right call for everyone, every time. If money is genuinely tight, that’s worth factoring in honestly.

How do I know if coaching is right for me?

Coaching tends to work best for people who:

feel a need for change or clarity
are willing to look honestly at their situation
want practical tools, not just conversation

If you recognise yourself in the situations described on this page, that’s usually a good sign.

Is midlife coaching only about work?

No.

Work takes up a lot of space in our day, so it’s often (but not always) where people start. But it rarely stays just about work.

Relationships, health, identity, house & home, personal growth, what’s next – they all tend to come into it too.

We follow wherever it leads.

What happens in an intake conversation?

You talk, I ask questions. No forms to fill in beforehand, no need to prepare anything.

It’s a relaxed conversation, not an assessment. I want to understand what’s going on for you and how I might be able to help. By the end of it, we’ll both know whether this is a good fit. And you’ll usually already have a bit more clarity than when you started.

Do you work online or only in person?

Both.

An intake conversation is always online.

Coaching sessions happen in person at my practice in Leuven, or online if that suits you better. Some of my clients prefer a mix where they do some sessions in person and some online.

Do you only work with women?

No.

I work with both men and women in their 40s and 50s. The questions midlife raises don’t discriminate, and neither do I.

What matters more to me than your gender is whether you’re ready to look honestly at your situation and do something about it.